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Why Men Can’t Find the Pickles Behind the Mayonnaise




A few weeks ago, after I wrote about Stupid Things Husbands Say, my friend Allison told me this story.


She was at her office, working, when she got a call from her husband who was home.

He: Where’s my jacket? She: Did you look in the closet? He: Do you think it might be there?


Then there’s Bryan. who thinks he’s married to David Blaine. Wife Katie opens a cabinet, and voila, the bread crumbs (which he swears were not there two minutes ago) magically appear on the second shelf.


We all have similar stories. So why can’t men find their keys, sunglasses, wallets, cell phones, the remote control or the pickles behind the mayonnaise?


Turns out the answer might be biological. Allan and Barbara Pease, authors of Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps,” explain that women have a greater variety of cone-shaped cells in the eyes than do men, which gives them superior color vision — a big advantage when trying to distinguish the mustard from the ketchup.


Women also have greater peripheral vision, giving credence to the fact that small children believe their mothers have eyes in the back of their heads.


Men, on the other hand, have better single focused, long distance vision suitable for highway driving and tracking buffalo.


Speaking of buffalo, scientists from the University of California believe that the male/female difference in vision can be attributed to evolutionary factors. Hunting, a task generally associated with men, requires distance vision to track animals accurately while on the move. Closer spatial awareness is better suited to foraging for fruits, roots or berries, i.e. “women’s work.”


To sum up, instead of asking your husband to hand you the sliced roast beef from the refrigerator, ask him to hunt down an Angus steer. You might have better luck.


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